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[05 Nov 2004|05:09pm] |
Soo I haven't updated in a very very long time.
NEWS UPDATE:
-Moe and I have been going out 91 days.
-I just went back to school today after not going to school for 5 days.
-I had a blood test and my arm is all yukky and bruised.
-I had a computing studies exam today and got 34/50, which isn't bad considring I didn't study AND the 'smart girl' who did study got the same as me and the highest mark in the class was 40.
-I haven't gone anywhere for a very long time. The last time I went out to see friends or bf was.. I don't even remember.
-I've been depressed and feeling lonely and low and not being fucked for anything or anyone.
-I hate girls, they're such bitches but that isn't news, is it?
Well.. that's a brief update on the last few weeks kinda. The worst part of the last few weeks has been feeling depressed and crying over absolutely nothing and everything at the same time. I can't even think of the cause of all my sadness, it's just there and it won't go away. My mum wants me to see a psychiatrist since she found out I cut myself.. like it's some surprise. She only says I can't be friends wit Muslims and that I can't go to Bankstown because of her stupid suspicions. My happiness is more important for Gods sake.
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[01 Oct 2004|02:12pm] |
I went to Bankstown on Tuesday and Thursday (yesterday). Good times. On Tuesday I saw Moe and we walked around and stuff, I pushed Millad in a trolley and pushed him towards some old lady and she asked if he wanted a dummy and we just laughed and I pulled him away and he waved goodbye.
Yesterday I went to Bankstown by myself and guess what? My worst nightmare came true, I got my period unexpectedly. Yes, it's your cue to laugh. But you know it would have been funnier if blood had gotten on my jeans but it didn't, it just ruined by favourite undies. I had to call my friend Momo to come and I met him on the stairs near McDonalds and hopped in the car, he drove towards the carpark and after about 10 minutes of searching and speeding up, scaring little Asian boy so he'd think we were going to run him over, we parked and we ventured towards Target, where I bought undies. In Target we went to the women's underwear section and he's like "I'll wait here" and I told him he had to come with me and then we pointed at the big grandma undies and big bras and laughed like immature kids until I found my black and pink lacy undies. We went to the chemist and the woman asked us if we needed any help and he pointed at me and I'm like "I need some pads" and she smiled and then I'm like ".. for him" and she laughed and he hit me. And then I didn't have enough money to buy the pads with the geisha pattern on them ($5.20) so Momo had to buy them with his credit card and we lived happily ever after until I had to go bathroom and change and there was one cubicle empty and a girl was waiting and I'm like "Is that toilet okay?" and she goes "Does it look okay?" and she laughed and I looked and there was like shit all over the toilet and toilet paper everywhere! And I'm just like EWWWW EW EW and we both laughed. Most disgusting sight of the year. And then me and Momo went to McDonalds and he had to buy my lunch with his credit card again and I ate it and it tasted more nice because I didn't pay for it. Then we wandered around aimlessly and in no time I had to go home and I did. So that's the start of my holidays and tonight I am going ice skating with Moustafa but my mum said she won't drive us if the rain is too heavy and since there's like matted flooring inside I can imagine it'll be easy to slip over if everyone's wet shoes have gone over them and there's dirt all around the venue it'd be muddy and yukky and hair will get wet, so maybe it would be better to go next week instead but I wanna go tonight. RAR!
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[25 Sep 2004|03:49pm] |
Things that make me happy :
1. Mouse cheese also known as the cheese that has holes in it like a mouse ate some of it, it has some fancy schmancy cheese name but I don't know it.
2. Tzatziki and bagel crisps.
3. Postman pat and his black and white cat, or if you're my mum "his silly white hat." Don't ask me how she got that.
4. Bob the builder and imaginining Moe dressed up as Bob. AW. Overalls.
5. Marshmallows or anything marshmallow related like my strabwerry and marshmallow lipgloss.
6. Sumo wrestlers.. mmm. Okay they make me horny.
7. Rolling sumo wrestlers down hills.
8. Poking sumos bellies and playing with their boobies.
9. Two sumos in a pool of jelly.
10. Me + two sumos in a pool of jelly. OH GOD!
11. My monthly magazines : Dolly, Gf, Shop 'til you drop and Vogue. I spend so much money a year on magazines that just pile up in a cupboard.
12. Fairies and reading my fairy books, I still believe fairies exist and that I was a fairy in a past life with Mohamed and we lived under mushrooms. Book : Fairies by Leonie Young and images by Bernard Rosa and Janine Fuller. 'Where dancing dreams and moonlit beams cast magical shadows on sights unseen."
13. Catwitch by Una Woodruff, my all time favourite childhood book.
14. Shorty short guys who look like those dolls that face the wall and decorate people's hallways.
15. Green eyes.
16. New age books: Thorson's Way of the Goddess by Ann-Marie Gallagher, 21st Century Goddess by Jessica Adams, Jelena Glisic and Anthea Paul ( THANKYOU MARY-ANGE FAT BITCH FOR DAMAGING THIS BOOK WITH YOUR FAT, CLUMSY FINGERS =D) and Practical Magic by Marian Green.
17. Not without my daughter by Betty Mahmoody or the movie.
18. Movies: DEATH WISH 1-5 or however many there are I LOVE U PAUL CURSEY! For anyone who doesn't know they're oldish movies about a vigilante named Paul Cursey whose wife is killed, his daughter is raped and then in a later movie she kills herself because she's scarred for life. He goes and gets revenge on all the scum in the streets, it's the maddest! The Craft, hocus pocus and Romy and Michelle's highschool reunion.
19. Amy and the way she laughs and cackles, Oh wait I'm the cackler. WELL! Amy's a dancing machine and you just press her buttons in a non-dirty way and she dances and sings, much like a juke box. Now that makes me happy! Amy has rosy cheeks.
I'll add more .. sometime when I feel happy.
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[16 Sep 2004|11:38am] |
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( Fuck )
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[25 Aug 2004|04:48pm] |
HA! I just saw on the news these birds on the streets attacking people and you see this footage of this weird looking guy ducking and running from this evil attacker bird! LOL How embarrassing if you were that guy and everyone sees you on the news like running in weird shorts and funny glasses! *points and laughs*
I hate Ms. Bitch! We had PDH today and she apparently said my name two times and I'm like "did you say my name" and she's like "are you joking? I said your name two times" and I'm like "Well I thought you said Crystal and then I just realised you were saying my name" and she pulled this weird fucking bitch face, maybe if she didnt speak so low and maybe if she didnt sound like a constipated whore I would have heard my name clearly.
I also hate Ms. Cross Eyed bitch with a passion. She's so evil and sneaky and ugly and disgusting, and guess who else I hate? THE EVIL NUN PRINCIPAL! She is a nun and I saw her at house assembly just bitching with other teachers, making comments, covering her mouth and whispering with this face, like the face someone pulls when they're judging someone, like the squinty eyes and hateful expression and you would think a nun would be nice. She is the devil.
That is all for now..
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[23 Aug 2004|06:37pm] |
I went back to school today.. fun fun.
2nd period: English
Me + Amy + Shannon + modern version performance of Romeo & Juliet prologue + overexaggerated Lebo accents = embarrassment.
Our Romeo & Juliet scene was updated into Bankstown station language, like fully sik bro. Just imagine three Aussie girls putting on the most weird and stupid Lebo accents you've ever heard and using 'bro' and 'hectic' every 5 seconds. Everyone found it funny except Crystal, the fucking BITCH. I hate her and her need to comment on everything, like doesn't she realise that nobody cares what she thinks?
2th period: PRACTICAL I thought we had theory but when I arrived to class I realised that we had prac, but the majority of the class didn't bring their sports uniform and there was only 10 people who did. BUT MS. BITCH made us take notes about everything she was saying and what the rest of the class was doing, and at the end she said I didn't write enough. THERE IS ONLY SO MUCH you can write about what a total moronic bitch is saying about cricket. Did she expect an essay? You can't turn anything she says into something intellectual. DUMB FLAT ASSED BITCH.
What else? I spoke to shorty at lunch about something private, which I won't be mentioning on here but it feels good to speak to her about what's going on in my life and what's going on in hers. We've drifted apart so much but at least I can still speak to her occasionally.
OH YEAH must speak about Mohamed in every journal entry, unwritten law, which has now been written!
Well nothing must is going on with me and Mohamed.. But I still love him as always and he is still HOT!
I'm so hungry, I just ate dinner and I'm hungry.
Today I ate ..
2 pieces of raisin toast for breakfast with a glass of apple-mango juice.
a blueberry fruit bar and these cute mini cornchips (about 5 in a pack) with their little salsa dipping sauce.
lunch a lebanese wrap with avacado, cheese, lettuce and sweet chilli.
OH and don't forget the 2 cans of pepsi! WHAT A SURPRISE!
And some stir fry dinner with those delicious Chinese mushrooms OH DEAR!
Anyway that's all. I've managed to rave on about basically nothing.
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[22 Aug 2004|03:25pm] |
| How to make a deceptivesiren |
Ingredients:
5 parts success
3 parts brilliance
3 parts beauty |
Method:
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of emotion |
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[21 Aug 2004|08:10pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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ice cube- how to survive in south central LA |
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Ah. What is new lately? Well, not much. I don't even know why I am updating when there is no news.. HMM. You wanna know what I have been doing for the past week or so? Sitting at home, reading, watching day time TV, chatting, being bored and looking out the window wishing I was outside. Are you as excited as I am? Thought so. What else is there to report on? I have developed a new list of 'wants' in my mind over the week, after flipping through magazines and watching TV. I have decided that I want :
a sony ericson k700i 
YUM!
I want film for my iz0ne so I can take photos without my mum knowing and I don't have to go and secretly get film developed, and then I will be able to scan more pics without my mum wondering why, SINCE she doesn't actually know I chat. Yippee.
What else? I want the 2pac 'Thug Angel' bio. I rented it from Video Ezy a while ago and it was the best!
Liquid eyeliner maybe. I'm not an eyeliner person, more of a 'natural' eye make up person but sometimes eyeliner looks good when applied properly. It just gets a bad name from those dumb bitches who smear it all over their eyelid n their face somehow. I wish someone would inform me how they manage to blotch it all over their eyelid in such a clumsy way?
There is this top at Bankstown in some shop, I can't remember which shop but I know where it's at and it had the cutest aquamarine blue and hot pink singlet top with a lacy trimming at the top. It's hard to explain but it's some fairy style top, it is so pretty! Fairies ahh!
It's almost Spring.. soon, which means I'll need to start buying capris and cooler tops. YAY! Shopping! My b'day in a little over 3 months. Can't wait.
I want more underwear, I'm in an underwear mood. But my mum assumes that buying nice underwear means that someone will be seeing my underwear. She's so right!
I think that is all for now.
Update on Christie and Mohamed relationship: It's fine like a sunny day and I love him more than ever, that must be the only exciting thing in my life at the moment.
ALSO I HATE GUYS THAT THINK THEY'RE POWERFUL AND IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO TELL ME TO BREAK UP WITH HIM AND GO OUT WITH THEM. IT'S LIKE THEY WANT ME MORE WHEN THEY REALISE I HAVE A BF. DUMBASSES.
That is all for now. Nothing too exciting as you can see but I will try my hardest to make something exciting happen so I can tell anyone who is bothered to read this.
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[13 Aug 2004|02:02pm] |
Things are all back to normal.. I'm going out with the hottest guy in Bankstown! Everything is sorted out from that little hiccup.. YAY! So life couldn't be better. I'm going out with Mr. Dream Guy who I've always wanted. It's so much better than xmas even.
I'm sick though, that's the only bad thing. I've got a high temperature, a sore throat, I'm wheezy, headachey and I feel like crap, but at least I'm going out with a hot guy! I don't mean to sound like I'm obsessed with his looks only.. :P But for the sake of not sounding conceited I better mention that he is nice as well as hot, cute and rosey (rosey as in his cheeks are rosey). OH HOW SWEET!
I really don't have much else to say.
But I'm happy at last!
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| b0red, stolen from shannon |
[07 Aug 2004|09:31pm] |
01. I know all the words to 'I'm a Barbie girl'.
02. I'm obsessed with high heels.
03. I'm the youngest child.
04. I am a shopoholic.
05. I love hoop earrings.
06. I am a Virgo.
07. I love beer.
08. I can't live without lip gloss. [Well, I could live technically, but just for the sake of overexaggerating and misusing the English language I CAN'T KEEP ON LIVING WITHOUT LIPGLOSS]
09. I can't live without music. ^
10. I lived in Purgatory for 3 months.
11. I spend money I don't have. [i.e my parents money]
12. I'll be in college forever.
13. I've seen Jason Mraz.
14. I get annoyed easily.
15. I eventually want kids.
16. I have more then a couple of horrible memories.
17. I am addicted to Lizzie McGuire.
18. I am a person. [or am I a fairy?]
19. I start film school in February.
20. I love the rain.
21. I love taking pictures.
22. I LUV girls who are fake.
23. I can be mean when I want to.[U SHOULD SEE ME!]
24. My dreams are bizarre.
25. One of my close friends is gay.
26. I have way too many purses.[ACCORDING TO MY MUM]
27. I've seen 'Fight Club' at least 45 times.
28. I usually dress how I feel that day.
29. I love 'Sex and the City'.
30. Sometimes I cry for almost no reason.
31. I hate when people are late. Or too damn early.
32. I procrastinate.
33. I love winter. [SO I CAN WEAR CUTE SCARVES AND UGH BOOTS]
34. I have too many clothes for my closet/dresser. [<--My excuse for why they're under the bed]
35. I love to sleep. [With OR without you]
36. I wish I were smarter.
37. I'm afraid of flying.
38. I love singing. [When no one's listening]
39. I am addicted to 'The O.C.'
40. I love my hair. [When it's out]
41. I hardly ever fight with my mother.[IT's always my fault]
42. I love the beach. [- sand - piss in the water ]
43. I have never had the chicken pox.
44. I'm excited for the future. [I'm running from the past]
45. I can't control my emotions.
46. I can't wait till New Year's.
47. I love the show 'Rich Girls'.
48. I love my friends.
49. Christmas is my favorite holiday.
50. I can be very insecure sometimes?.
51. I have never broken a bone.
52. I hate racist people.
53. I hate my computer.
54. I love guys that play the guitar. [corey]
55. I state the obvious. [Repeatedly]
56. I'm a happy person.
57. I love to dance.
59. I hate cleaning my room.
60. I tend to get jealous easily.
61. I love cute underwear.
62. I love John Mayer.
63. I cry when I see animals/people getting hurt/abused.
64. I want to go to Greece. [To look at guys]
65. I don't like to study for tests.
66. I love God.
67. I am too forgiving.
68. I have a horrible sense of direction.
69. I love(d) high school.
70. I have a talent of sweet-talking my way out of things.\?
71. I'm a daddy's girl.
72. I love kisses on the forehead.
73. I love the color pink.
74. I love to sew.
75. I have blue eyes.
76. I love the Olsen Twins.
77. I've played soccer for 10 years.
78. I become stressed easily.
79. I hate liars.
80. I like comfy sweatpants.
81. Paul Walker is a fag.
82. I love the smell of asphalt after it's rained.
83. I love my family.
84. I hate needles.
85. I am a perfectionist, with some things.
86. I always wanted to learn to play the drums.
87. I am still a virgin.
88. I would love to have my own fashion line.
89. I can be quite selfish at times.
90. I still act like a little kid sometimes.
91. I despise dishonesty.
92. I love pictures.
93. I love music.
94. I wish I were more motivated when it comes to school.
95. I love getting stuff in the mail.
96. I have problems letting go of people.
97. I hate the feeling of being lonely.
99. I hate the fact that I wear size 5 jeans.
100. I've never watched "Sex and the City" and I don't really care if I do.
101. I really don't want to add three things to this list.
102. So I won't.
103. Harry Potter is cool!
104. I am patient, to a point.
105. I like bunnies.
106. I often don't think before I speak and then regret it.
107. I love summer.
108. I miss the friends that I haven't seen for a while.
109. I like the feeling of sneezing.
110. The thought of special brownies make me giggle.
111. Sometimes I actually enjoy school but other times I just want it all to stop.
112. I work(ed) at a convenience store and strongly dislike(d) it.
113. I love video games.
114. I'm an insomniac.
115. I like Lord of the Rings.
116. I'm reading The DaVinci Code. This book must be amazing because everwhere I go, someone is reading it.
117. And my name is JC.
118. I want thirteen kids.
119. I get attached easily...
120. ...But I still manage to have commitment problem.
121. I'm an azn kid. [am I the only one who thinks say 'azn' is fucking stupid?]
122. I like to watch movies that make you cry.
123. I love playing in the rain.
124. I've watched a porn.
125. I've skinny dipped multiple times. When I was muccchhh younger.
126. People that shove religion down my throat bother me.
127. I miss my home of nine years.
128. I love dancing to Britney Spears.
129. I like it doggie style. [hahaha]
130. I need a life.
131. I love roller coasters.
132. I am scared of heights.
133. My nails are painted pink.Well, it's a french manicure but the base is a sheer pink
134. I love gum.
135. I think Johnny Knoxville is sexy
136. I am in LOVE with Johnny Depp.
137. I'm a hopeless romantic.
138. I'm a pimp.[*has the urge to sing*]
139. I dont think before I speak.
140. I get into trouble at least 3 times a week for stupid shit.
141. I have never gotten straight A's.
142. I have a tanning bed in my house.
143. Olives are my favorite!
144. Kittens make me happy.
145. I am in love with AFI.
146. I am a supervisor at an amusement park.
147. I have a boyfriend whom I can trust.
148. I love the fact that my birthday is in August because it is not near any major holidays.
149. I have more than one favorite color.
150. The end of 'Big Fish' makes me cry.
151. I am gay.
152. I have done drugs other than weed.
153. I have never cheated on anybody.
154. I hate chocolate.
155. I have an obsession with wanting to lose weight.
156. I'm in love.
157. Jenni Kay Wolfgram is my best friend
158. I like cream cheese.
157. I love chocolate milk.
158. I have spit-o-phobia (fear of spit).
159. I cried for days when my dog died.
160. I am learning how to play lacrosse.
161. DDR rocks.
162. My middle name is Marie.
163. I work at Publix.
164. I like a certain someone.
165. Somehow, the people I trust always let me down
166. Sometimes, I want to move away, right away, take the one I love and never look or come back.
167. I Love the Ashlee Simpson Show.
168. I hate people that use others.
169. I freaking love Yellowcard.
170. I will never be in love with Kurt Cobain.
171. I surf and skate.
172. I love Drew. He's a perfect 10.
173. I'm not ashamed to admit that I love the Backstreet Boys.
174. I have my belly button pierced.
175. I own a cowboy hat.
176. I was born in NY.
177. I wish I was a mushroom.
178. I have dreams of being your mom.
179. I am determined to be involved with Broadway one day.
180. I am going back to dance class soon. (im contemplating it)
181. I have been told by many (a couple ) of people that I am a good dancer. (used to. Not anymore. When I was like 11)
182. I have found my one true love.
183. I love my boyfriend.
184. I love Derik.
185. I have the same birthday as Shakespeare.
186. I will always have Jones cream soda in my house when I'm older.
187. I hate people that bring me down.
188. I have a hamster.
189. I hate soda.
190. I like techno.
191. I puke brownies.
192. I saw fucking 311 in concert, bitches.
193. This was a waste of my time.
194. Someone has written a song especially for me.
195. I've read, and loved, books by Tom Robbins.
196. I have certain pieces of jewelery that I wear regularly.
170. I want to bear Matthew Good's proverbial children.
171. I am addicted to the Folklorama
172. I hate my mom a lot of the time.
173. I think hot pink is the DEVIL.
174. I alphabetize my CD collection.
175. I found Nemo. [that's such a stoner thing to say]
176. I studied dance for 7 years.
177. My cat is my owner.
178. Indy wrestling rules my ass.
179. This time next week I'll be in Canada
180. I have an obsession with Gushers
181. I've done 'sexual things' in really weird places
182. i was obsessed with the spice girls as a child.
183. grease 1 & two are my favourite musicals.
184. i hate austin powers.
185. I am god.
186. I love Incubus.
187. I hate too many people.
188. I wish I was a marshmallow.
189. I am convinced I am a fairy or was a fairy in a past life.
190. I love lebanese.
all the things in BOLD. are what apply to me
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[02 Aug 2004|05:24pm] |
Let me fill you in.. on what's going on in my life now.
I can't be too specific, because I don't know who reads this but in general life has been a mix of good and bad.
It's mainly bad, but it's not so bad that I can't smile and pretends it's good.
I'll start with what's good : Things at school are OK with the girls and I'm not fighting with anyone, me and my family are getting along, I bought the ultimate curly hair products and .. that's it for good.
Now for the bad: The only guy I've ever really truly loved (the guy I've liked for ages and wanted to go out with for ages) and the guy I basically can't breathe without, isn't speaking to me. Who would think that a guy who I love, and who I've liked for ages and wanted to go out with for so long would be gone? I didn't see it coming and out of all the fights we've had and resolved, I don't think this one is going to be resolved, but you never know.. Maybe he'll remember how much I love him or maybe the more we don't speak, the more he'll forget.. who knows.
That's like the biggest of the bad, which is pretty sad maybe to anyone who's reading this, but it means a lot to me, he means a lot to me and I don't know how to go on living and keep smiling when I keep thinking about him and missing him. Well, the next of the bad is .. hmm I can't think of any more bads.. but considring I only have one bad, life feels pretty bad. How many times have I said the word bad? *slaps myself* Yeah, my grandpa on my dad's side recently passed away and my pop on my mum's side is in a nursing home now, suffering from Alzheimers. Most of the time he calls me by a different name and he tells me I'm going to be a "movie star", who knows, maybe I am a movie star. Don't tell me I'm not.
Back to the person I love.. yes, I love him.. and everything about him is so cute and I miss him after one second of not talking to him and knowing there will be many more seconds of not talking to him makes me sad..
AHHHHHH *SCREAMS*
random lyrics:
They can say anything they want to say
Try to bring me down
But I will not allow anyone to succeed
Hanging clouds over me
And they can try hard to make me feel that I
Don't matter at all
But I refuse to falter in what I believe
Or lose faith in my dreams
Cause there's a light in me
That shines brightly
They can try but they cant take that away from me
Oh, they, they can do
Anything they want to you
If you let them in
But they wont ever win
If you cling to your pride
And just push them aside
See I, I have learned
There's an inner peace I own
Something in my soul that they cannot possess
So I wont be afraid and the darkness will fade
- Mariah - can't take that away
When there are clouds on a rainy day
You know how to bring sunshine to my life
And I've never felt this way before
You make me feel like I'm your goddess
-Aaliyah - No One Knows How To Love Me Quite Like You Do
Baby you don't know,what you do to me.
Between me and you, I feel a chemistry.
Won't let noone come and take your place.
Cause the love you give can't be replaced.
See noone else love me like you do.
That's why I don't mind to spend my life with you.
Wanna please you in anyway I can.
Wanna share my world don't you understand.
-Aaliyah - One in a million
Staring in the mirror as I
Start to carefully contemplate
Just really how deep is this thing I have for you
It's wearing on my heart
And from the start you know I tried, steadily denied
Friendship turn to love
I know you probably think that I'm so strange -
Stuttering on every word when you look my way, why?
And maybe it's all in my mind
But when we hugged goodbye I had butterflies
I just died
-Amerie - I just died
You said that we'd forever be in love
And you showed me life like I never knew
Things I never even dreamed of
But your smile just don't seem the same
And when you tell me you feel it too
I'm not sure who's to blame
Cause I gave everything
-Amerie- All I have
But wait there's more. I'm just thinking.. Everything I've done bad, every mistake I've made, I've lost a friend or someone's trust or had a fight.. but I keep making mistakes because I'm human, right? And it's my life afterall and I'm young and naive so it's only human for me to make mistakes and go through stages where I do stupid things, it isn't because I'm stupid, it's because I'm human. But different mistakes give different reactions. But in my opinion, a mistake is a mistake, the past is the past.. And if someone isn't aware that they are making a mistake, and their mistake somehow affects you or stirs feelings of hatred, then shouldn't you just think to yourself that it wasn't intentional. Or is it only me who thinks that if someone's sorry they should be forgiven? Is it all about revenge and fighting, and making people feel bad, to get even? If you feel pain because of someone elses mistake, do you have to go and inflict pain on the person intentionally just so you both can feel pain. Isn't there enough pain in the person feeling regret and sorrow for their mistake..?
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[27 Apr 2004|04:55pm] |
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mood |
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the sound of the voices in my head |
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[STARTING OFF]
+ date: April 27, 2004
+ name: Christie
+ birthday: Nov 30
+ school: not telling! mama mia pedophile!
+ e-mail: christa_athena@hotmail.com
+ eyes: green
+ hair: light browny blonde curls
+ height: not sure? pretty short hehe
+ shoe size: 8
+ who lives with you: mum, dad, bro (matt) dog (holly)
+ when is your bedtime?: whenever
[HAVE YOU EVER...]
+ flown on a plane: yep
+ ever been so drunk you blacked out: naw
+ missed school because it was raining: yes or if it looked like it was gonna rain or it was too windy or i felt slighty sick ;)
+ told a guy/girl that you liked them?:yerr all the time lol im ms emotional
+ put a body part on fire for amusement: nop
+ had a crush on a friends girlfriend/boyfriend: not really? no1 trusts me to meeet their bfs to begin with
+ been hurt emotionally: yes all the tiiiime
+ kept a secret from everyone: me? i can't keep my own problems and secrets to myself
+ had an imaginary friend: i still do his name is bob.
+ wanted to hook up with a friend: yehhh guy friend, not girl.. me no lesbian lol ;)
+ cried during a movie: yes the lion king, green mile, john Q, not without my daughter, stepmom ..
+ been on stage: yes i did dancin wen i was little and that was on a stage :D
+ cut your hair: yes lolll i fucked up my hair once and its sort of recovering. no biggy.
+ had a crush on a teacher? yehhhh ohh i so want this fat biiitch teacher with the fat ass and the mole, shes a hotttie.
[FAVOURITE...]
+ shampoo: Pantene for curls
+ fav color: pink, black, purple, baby blue
+ day/night: night
+ summer/winter: winter
+ lace or satin: lace
+ fav movies: the ring, final destination, urban legend, not without my daughter, green mile, wrong turn, chopper, deathwish, kindergarten cop, everafter, romy and michelles high school reunion, legally blonde, poetic justice and clueless.
+ fav drink: cherry coke
[RIGHT NOW YOU ARE...]
+ wearing: pajamas... with ducks on them. shutup!
+ eating: nothing atm
+ drinking: nothing
+ listening to: the voices in my head
[HAVE YOU ... IN THE LAST 24 HOURS]
+ cried: yes
+ worn jeans: yes
+ met someone new online: yes
+ done laundry: NO!
+ drove a car: noo i drove IN a car though.. does that count?
+ talked on the phone: yesss!
[...DO YOU BELIEVE IN...]
+ yourself: sometimes, hardly ever
+ your friends: some of them, lately i've been fucked around though
+ Santa claus: yes.. wat r u tryin to tell me he.. isnt.. real?
+ tooth fairy: yes i am a fairy too!
+ destiny/fate: yeh
+ angels: yesss
+ ghosts: yes
+ UFO's: not really.
+ God: err not sure.
[FRIENDS & LIFE]
+ do you ever wish you had another name? naw i like my name
+ do you wish you have a girlfriend/boyfriend? i do have one so i dont need to wish
+ do you like anyone? yes of course
+ which one of your friends acts the most like you? a 'friend' or ex friend who shall remain nameless who has adopted my sense of humour and most of my personality but the only difference is shes a fake bitch
+ Which friend have you known the longest? amy from primary school, even though we grew a part in highschool we used to be bestfriend n we still talk as just normal friends.
+ are you close to any family members? naw my mum and me r sorta close, we can talk bout anything and make fun of eachother, i whisper in her ear "ur a slut, im gonna tell everyone" she whispers in my ear "u whore" we can say anything to eachother as a joke.
+ who do you hang around the most? janette usually but more with the other girls now. seperation.
+ what's the best feeling in the world: feeling loved by the one u love.
+ Worst feeling: having people think you're a slut and not a nice person just because of a few mistakes.
.x.Your mother thinks you are: a naughty girl, but she can't prove it!
.x.Your father thinks you are: a good girl, he keeps telling himself.
.x.Your sibling[s] think you: are weird and annoying
.x.Your grandma thinks you are: gorgeous and nice
.x.Your grandpa thinks you are: "movie star quality" he always tells everyone "oh i think christie's going to be a movie star" lol he has dementure
.x.Your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife think you are: unfaithful most likely but I'm not, I'm gonna prove u wrong
.x.Your best friend thinks you are: who's my best friend?
.x.Your three best qualities?: humour, easy to talk to and listening when I can
.x.you are often complimented for?: eyes, alot of old people like my hair and touch it. old people germs!
.x.A compliment you got that made you blush?: this old woman kept sayin how beautiful i was and she wanted to take me home and she said it to everyone at our table at my cousin's wedding, then at the hotel in the morning she was in the restaurant and we were having breakfast and when we left she said "stay just the way you are, you're gorgeous" and it was quiet so people heard.
.x.You get embarrassed when?: ummm i dont know i dont get too embarrassed
.x.What upsets you?: people thinking badly of me and not giving me a chance
Yes or No
.x.Keep a diary?: yes right here moron
.x.Like to cook?: yes i like to make cookies, chop chip ones yum
.x.Have a secret you have not shared with anyone?: umm nope lol
.x.Fold your underwear?: no its all stuffed in my drawers!
.x.sleep?: yes *yawns* speaking of sleep
.x.Set your watch a few minutes ahead?: no why would u do that?
.x.Bite your fingernails?: not much
x.Believe in love?: yes.. maybe
Last
.x.Movie you rented?: let me think oh yeah poetic justice
.x.Movie you bought?: clueless and the craft from video ezy sale
.x.Movie you watched?: harry potter chamber of secrets lol it was on movie one the other day
.x.Song you listened to?: mary j blige- your child remix this morning in the car
.x.Song that was stuck in your head?:wedding singer song
.x.Song you've downloaded?: T.O.K - gal u a lead
.x.CD you bought: i dont buy cds, mainly dl but if i think back it may have been joe- better days from aaages ago
.x.CD you listened to?: a mixed burned cd in the car
.x.Person you've called?: moustafa
.x.Person that's called you?: janette
.x.TV show you've watched?: umm sex and the city
.x.Person you were thinking of?: moe lolz
Do
.x.You wish you could live somewhere else?: yes in lebanon
.x.You believe in online dating?: well i believe in getting to know someone which could eventually lead to love but not dating on the net without meeting them.. strange
.x.Others find you attractive?: i've been told so
.x.You want more piercings?: no
.x.You want more tattoos?: i wouldnt mind getting one but i dont currently have one
.x.You drink?: yes doesnt everyone?
.x.You write in cursive or print?: bit of both
Have You
.x.Ever cried over a boy/girl?: yesss oh boy
.x.Ever lied to someone?: yes
.x.Ever been in a fist fight?: yes lol but i wasnt usin my fists, they were using theirs and i diddnt know wat was goin on :D
.x.Ever been arrested?: noo lol give me time
What
.x.Shampoo do you use?: Pantene for curls
.x.Perfume/cologne do you use?: baby powder deodorant, estee lauder - beautiful perfume and coconut body butter sometimes.
.x.Shoes do you wear?: adidas, k-swiss, thongs, high heels sometimes
.x.Are you scared of?: people.
Number
.x.Of times you have been in love?: alot.. i think
.x.Of times you have had your heart broken?: a few.. lol
.x.Of hearts you have broken?: a couple
.x.Of girls you have kissed?: on the cheek lots lol everyday greeting.. i havent pashed any girls u dirty perverted person who wrote these questions
.x.Of people you consider your enemies? a fair few people more than 5
.x.Of CDs that you own?: can't count them
.x.Of times your name has appeared in the newspaper?: once when i won a coloring in competition.. yes me! ohh the glory!
.x.Of things in your past that you regret?: being quite a lil hoe, saying the wrong things at times
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[20 Apr 2004|03:49pm] |
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mood |
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uncomfortable |
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music |
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kokane- I'm a rider ft jagged edge |
] |
I've been thinking yet again, really thinking about my life and the way I am. I want to change and be someone who is loyal and trustworthy. I'm not saying I'm not those things, I am but not in all aspects of my life. If someone tells me a secret, yeah I'll keep it but if someone says they love me and I say I love them too I sometimes don't value the relationship as much as they do, or as much as I should. Like to me before cheating was nothing and it didn't bother me but now I'm starting to grow up and become a better person and do the right thing. If I want to be a good person I have to start learning now what's right and wrong or I'll never be able to commit.
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[18 Apr 2004|07:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
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britney spears- everytime video |
] |
Today I went shopping for a bit and completed buying my outfit for the wedding on Saturday, it's my cousins and it's in Melbourne.
So the outfits basically a black dress, one shoulder its got a frill on one shoulder and a sort of frill on the other side instead of a strap. The bottom of it goes up on one side slightly and has layered frills. It's black with red roses patterned around it and I'm wearing a loose knit cardigan over the top with black shoes, which match the handbag. Because the handbag has a small diamante square and the shoes have a small diamante love heart where the straps cross. Perfection. If you don't know what the fuck I am talking about shutuppppp.
I'm feeling 100000x better today than I've ever felt because I made up with someone very special =D! I feel alot more happy now and complete. w00t! I don't wanna jinx it though.
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[17 Apr 2004|07:07pm] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
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music |
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mario- just a friend |
] |
Children born of fairy stock
Never need for shirt or frock,
Never want for food or fire,
Always get their heart's desire:
Jingle pockets full of gold,
Marry when they're seven years old.
Every fairy child may keep
Two strong ponies and ten sheep;
All have houses, each his own,
Built of brick or granite stone;
They live on cherries, they run wild --
I'd love to be a fairy's child.
I really want to be a fairy, it's such a dream life. Ever since I was little it seemed like the perfect lifestyle for me. If I was a fairy, I bet I wouldn't have so many problems because I could just flutter around from fairy town to fairy town until I'm happy and I've found my fairy prince.
What did I do today?
1. I woke up at 8:30 or so and couldn't get back to sleep because of my parent's constant stomping, loud talking and banging of cupboards and this stupid fly was annoying me. I took my blanket into the other living room and slept on the lounge, then woke up at 11:15- that's better.
2. I had a shower, got dressed and got ready to go shopping, and although I said I'd never go to Bankstown again I had to but I was with my parents so it was okay. Me and my mum shopped around and my dad spent 20 minutes in K-mart looking at car seat covers and irritating the employees. The worst thing about my dad is that when it comes to buying something it takes him so long to make a decision because he worries that if he buys something, the next week he'll see the same product for 20c less, OH NO! Me and my mum also went to Jay Jays and this man had bought these pants and he was wearing them out of the shop. We came to the conclusion that he must have shit his pants and needed to wear his new pants to avoid embarrassment.
3. After Bankstown we went to Roselands to buy a loose knit black cardigan, we got that and then I had a curry puff and we left.
4. I went to Revesby with my mum to look at this shop near Woolworths, they sell all these classic style clothes and jewellery. Everything there is soo pretty!
5. I saw Moey from Revesby at the corner shop.
6. I went to Video Ezy and rented Poetic Justice with Janet Jackson and 2pac, I watched that. I really loved it, I love all those types of urban love stories.
7. I had a slice of Pizza for a late lunch and later had dinner, crumbed fish and salad.
8. Now I find myself here.
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[16 Apr 2004|10:38pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 confused |
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| [ |
music |
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clipse- lets talk about it ft JD |
] |
I'm the light when you can't see
I'm that air when you can't breathe
I'm that feeling when you can't leave
Some doubt, some believe, some lie, cheat, and deceive
So it's only you and me
When you weak, I'll make you strong, here's where you belong
I ain't perfect, but I promise I won't do you wrong
Keep you away from harm, my love is protected
I'll wrap you in my arms so you'll never feel neglected
I'll just make you aware of what we have is rare
In the moment of despair, I'm the courage when you're scared
Loyal, down for you, soon as I saw you
Wanted to be there cause I could hold it down for you
Be around for you, plant seeds in the soil
Make love all night, bending bed coils
You're a king, therefore I treat you royal
This is all for you, cause I simply adore you
EMBARRASSMENT The other day I was at Franklins with my mum and I was perving on this guy, well not perving but I was fascinated because he was basically so hot, he had blue eyes and he was Leb so I was staring obviously. Then I told my ex and he knows the guy and he gave the guy my number and the guy remembers me and my obvious perving lol I have to learn how to look away.
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[16 Apr 2004|06:46pm] |
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mood |
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 thoughtful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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mary j blige- not today |
] |
I had a pretty good day today, I'm sort of of calming down and getting out of my 'depression'. I saw Moustafa for 2 hours, we were walking around Panania, sitting in the library, walking some more, talking and stuff. I hadn't seen him for months! We were just laughing about 'the old days' because I used to see him practically everyday and we've had so many good times, we're so comfortable around eachother and I know I can trust him. He saw the cuts on my arms. I was telling him about my 'problems' and he cheered me up a fair bit, all I needed was to talk to someone and just know that someone cares about me legitimately. He told me that if my mum saw my arm I should tell her that I ran into a tree, a sharp tree that cuts and scratches your arm, perhaps an evil tree that is alive like in the Wizard of Oz haha I'm not that dopey, or am I? He asked me out again but I can't obviously, he still offered to buy my credit and I accepted. I feel a bit rude but it was his idea, I didn't go digging for him to buy me. I'm going shopping tomorrow for a cardigan or something to wear to the wedding (my cousins) and I need shoes too, I've got a dress already.
I've been thinking and I've given myself a set of rules for this year.
1. No more 'bad stuff'
2. Respect my family and put them before anything
3. Put school before boys and other unimportant things
4. Don't get 'tangled up' with people I know i shouldn't be with
5. Keep away from Bankstown
6. Don't cause trouble
7. Watch what I say
8. Be friends with people who are my real friends and ditch people who are fucking with me and bitching
I'm hoping for a better year this year.. I just have to remember to keep away from the things and the people that are bringing me down. I'm cleaning myself up and eventually I want to get rid of my 'bad name' if that is possible..
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[15 Apr 2004|08:12pm] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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| [ |
music |
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beanie sigel ft. jay-z- it's on |
] |
Why am I the only human being on this Earth?
Okay.. so I think I am fucked in the head, once upon a time I was normal but everything has changed. I've gotten attached to people who shouldn't be in my life and now that they've turned on me I feel heartbroken. I just hate having people hate me. I just want to live my life and be happy and not have so much shit in my head. I want to turn back time and take back every mistake, every wrong thing I've said and every friend I've lost. If I could just tell every person I've ever drifted from that I'm legitimately sorry for whatever i've done and for them to listen to me and just hear me out maybe i'd feel more happy. Right now my life feels like a mess, like a piece of shit, like part of me is missing and I want to start again. I feel like I'm on the verge of death and I'm not even exaggerating. Something is wrong with me but I don't think anyone understands my problems. I know alot of people say this shit for attention, to feel like the victim, they have the 'woe is me' attitude but I feel like this and I have for a while now, i've just been hiding it but it's too hard for me to hide anymore. I need help but I don't know how to help myself and I feel like no one cares or even understands or wants to. Who can help me?
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[15 Apr 2004|03:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 moody |
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music |
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T.O.K- gal you a lead |
] |
This is my first entry, to fill you in on a bit of my life and what's going on at the moment. I started this journal just to express my emotions and feelings and it's not only for any weird people who might take pleasure in reading this, it's for myself to be true to myself and think about what's happening in my life and my feelings. I made the journal public so anyone can read it if they please and I've disabled the message board function because I don't really want any feedback from strangers, but if you feel the need you could add me: christa_athena@hotmail.com.
I'll let you in on a bit of my history from the beginning, skipping all the boring parts.
I was born. I lived life as a sweet and innocent little girl, I had a loving family and I still do. When I hit highschool, that's when I turned into a devil and made some bad decisions and was led astray. I started to get confused about what was right and what was wrong but I've sorted myself out now. The only problem is that people won't let me forget what I used to be like and it's leading me to hate myself and all the mistakes I've made because alot of people are judging me by my mistakes and not my personality or what is really important. It's taken me.. over a year to get out of my bad ways because I only recently realised how bad what I was doing was and I'm starting to feel the after math of it all. I have no pride, no respect.
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deceptivesiren's journal